Where is God in the midst of heartache?

Have you felt like God was silent at times during your journey? I can remember on several occasions when I have thought, "God where are you? Did you not see this crush me? How could you allow this to happen to me? How could a good God allow a good christian to go through this?".

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?", Jesus cried out on the cross. Even Jesus felt the human emotion of being forsaken. Jesus knows exactly where we are and exactly what we feel. He can relate to it all. He felt pain, grief, and sorrow. I know in some of my deepest and darkest valleys, I have wondered and literally said out loud "God, where are you?". I wanted answers in that moment of my despair. I think our culture in America grooms us to think when we don't get answers from God we wonder where is He. In your difficult season you may have thought the same. Maybe you have been searching for answers and feel like you keep coming up short. I can tell you my friend, God's timing is not our timing. There are questions surrounding Bennett's unexpected passing that I will never get answers to. I have come to peace with that. Some things will never be explained or revealed on this side of heaven. It's hard to fathom that my heartache was a part of God's plan. However, I do know that all things work for the good of God. God is still good in grief. I feel like this is where our trust and faith comes in. You may have suffered several miscarriages with no answers. You may have lost someone so dear to you. You may have gone through an unwanted divorce. Or you may have received life changing news with an uncertain future. You may never know why your heartache happened to you. Trusting God without specific answers reveals our hearts to him on a deeper level.

You may be pleading with God to calm a storm in your life and when he doesn't you wonder where He is. Instead of calming the storm, He may be calming you instead by drawing you closer to Him. I believe God used this tactic in my story. My son isn't coming back to this earth but my pain and heartache ultimately drew me closer to Jesus. Experiencing His presence on a completely different level will open up peace that surpasses all understanding. I have experienced this and can tell you with truth that it can happen. It took me surrendering myself to Him for me to see His gifts from heaven. These gifts have kept me going on this grief journey. If you feel like God isn't near or He is silent, I challenge you to open your heart to Him.

• Talk to Him. It doesn't have to be a fancy prayer or structured prayer. He wants you to come as you are.
  

• Lean into His word. Dig into who He is so He can reveal to you who He wants you to be.
  

• Give Him time. He may not answer your suggestions or requests because He can see things we can't.
  

• Trust Him. He will lead you down the right path to peace.

One of the verses I have clung to is Psalms 34:18-19. I hope you find comfort in it as well.

Let Him be the light in your darkness,

Rebecca