Finding Purpose in Pain

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If you ask God to light your path don't be surprised if the path has rugged terrain. Don't be surprised if you are faced with an obstacle and you don't know how you are going to get through it. Don't be surprised if parts of you are torn down. Don't be surprised if the valleys are deep and dark. Don't be surprised if you find yourself alone on the path. And don't be surprised if He uses you to do His work.

Every night, my husband and I prayed for God to use us to further his kingdom. What I had in mind for His service and what God had in mind for me were not mirror reflections. I had been serving God in the way of caring for others (patients in healthcare) for many years but He called me to a new service on June 8, 2022. He called me to serve Him in the manner of child loss. I found myself on my knees in utter disbelief experiencing the most deepest pain I've ever felt in my life. My son was gone in a blink of an eye. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was before...the easy, complete and joyful life with our family of 4.

Since then, I've had many conversations with God about how all of this went down. I've given him many other suggestions on how I could have served him. My prayers and conversations with God in my heart (not hearing him audibly) looked at bit like this:

Me: But God, this is not what I had in mind to serve you. Couldn't you have called me in an easier, less painful way?I just don't have what it takes to walk this hard journey of child loss.

God: Your pain has a purpose

Me: But God, I just don't understand.. why me? why my family?

God: My child, it's not yours to understand

Me: But God, it just hurts so much

God: I know, lean in and let my presence give you peace and comfort for this difficult journey, I'm here.

I don't know why God called me in the way He did. I don't think I will know on this side of Heaven but I do have an idea that it is to further His kingdom. Even if it just opening the heart of one person. Whatever way God has called you to serve Him let me say...pull up your big girl or boy pants and put your armor on.

Your purpose may be revealed in suffering.

Your purpose may be revealed in transformation.

Your purpose may be revealed in being the hands and feet of Jesus.

Your certainly don't have to agree with it but when God calls you into a ministry He will light the path for you. There will be trials. There will be doubt whispered in your ear from the enemy. Push the devil out. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and the purpose He has set for you. God will give you what you need in order to grow in your pain and grief. He will equip you for your purpose. Embrace it as painful as it may be and let His light be shown through you.

My husband and I felt like God planted a seed in our hearts to start a non-profit organization in Bennett's honor. Bennett's Blessings is just that...blessings. The mission of Bennett's Blessings is to serve and support underprivileged children within our community. We wanted to honor and remember Bennett's life while serving others. I have found that serving others takes the spotlight off of my grief and pain. It allows me to focus on other's needs while healing a broken part of my heart. You may not be interested in starting a foundation but you can find something in your everyday life to make a difference. It may be embracing a unlikely friendship to bring sunshine in someone else's life. It may be volunteering with an organization/church. It may be simply acknowledging someone and saying hello. Or it may be doing something special for someone on a hard day. Little acts of kindness project love and allow you to see the joy in someone else's life. In turn, it will spill over into yours.

What has God called out of your pain? How can you serve Him in your valley? By Being Jesus' hands and feet a portion of your broken heart will be satisfied and healed beyond your understanding or control.

Let Him be the light in your darkness,

Rebecca