Bloom Where You Are Planted

Spring is my favorite time of the year. There is so much new life in nature during the springtime. The sunshine brings warmth to the days. The trees and flowers bloom. I love to sit outside while soaking in the sunshine and listening to the birds sing praises. There is something beautiful that happens in transitioning from the dead of winter into the spring. When I think about this seasonal transition I can’t help but think of grief in the same way. There is definitely beauty in the painful process. After such a significant loss, you are left feeling empty. During the winter, plants and some trees also resemble this emptiness. In the winter months many plant seeds are in darkness in the soil waiting to sprout in the right conditions. Some of my hardest days on this earth were spent in the darkness of grief after losing Bennett. I was desperate to feel hope and warmth in my valley. I longed to see beauty in the world again. The pain was almost unbearable at times to not have Bennett in my arms. I couldn’t rush the grieving process. I had to sit with it and allow myself to ride out the waves. Deep grief day in and day out is exhausting. I was emotionally and mentally spent which spilled over to feeling physically depleted. It was in my darkness that my personal and spiritual seed began to sprout..just like a flower seed lying dormant in the winter and awaiting to bring a new life in the spring.

After loss and heartache, there is a new life. A new way of going about your day and new ways of looking at life through a different lens. I desperately wanted my life to stay the same immediately after Bennett passed but, how could it? Loss, especially child loss, changes everything about you and your world. I wanted to savor our “old and complete” life by having as much as I could control stay the same.

His room was left untouched.

His smeared hand prints on my windows remained.

His muddy shoes were put up to be dirty forever.

Essentially, I was trying to hold on to whatever was tangible of my son on this earth. I didn’t want a new life, especially one that Bennett wasn’t a part of. Just as spring brings a new life so does loss. It’s inevitable. During loss, we get to choose if this seed will germinate or if it will remain just a seed and stay in darkness. If you choose to grow in your grief then something beautiful (spiritual and personal germination) will occur.  There will be changes in the darkness just like a seed undergoes during this process. In order for a seed to sprout and ultimately grow it needs the following:

Water

Oxygen

Optimal temperature/environment

First, the soil needs to be receptive and be an environment willing for growth to occur. This is where one would accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. Then, the soil needs water…Living Water (God’s word). Next, oxygen must be present as an essential element. Oxygen gives life and without it nothing on this earth would survive. Jesus is the oxygen. Without His sacrifice, we wouldn’t have eternal everlasting life. And lastly, a seed must have the optimal temperature which is the sun (Son). Jesus’ love provides the warmth we need in order to grow spiritually. Once all of these elements are in place and the germination phase has occurred the sprout breaks open to then push itself out of the soil to bloom. We need to “break” in some ways in order to grow into something beautiful.

Have you ever felt so broken in your pain? Have you experienced this break and transformation too?

This simple analogy of a seed sprouting into a beautiful flower is one way we can look at how someone can be transformed in darkness. If you haven’t grown in your grief, dig into God’s word and lean into Him to find your way out of the dark soil. I know there is a beautiful flower awaiting to grow out of your pain and bring a new life that will impact other’s in such a positive way. I want to see you grow and bloom where you are planted whether it is in child loss or any other loss you have had to endure.

Let Him be the light in your darkness,

Rebecca